When I was younger and living in Nigeria, my understanding of mental health was very different from what it is today.
Back then, when someone talked about mental health problems, the image that came to my mind was a person on the road with no clothes on, eating from a dustbin, talking to themselves, or behaving in a way society would describe as “mad.” To me, that was what mental illness looked like.
But as I grew older, I started realizing that it was much more than that.
Mental health is a person’s overall wellbeing emotionally, psychologically, socially, and even behaviorally. It affects how we think, how we feel, how we relate to people, and how we respond to the things happening around us.
What really changed my perspective was realizing that mental health problems can be very quiet.
Someone can be surrounded by people and still feel completely isolated. They can be smiling, going to work, posting on social media, hanging out with friends, and still be struggling mentally. A lot of the time, people don’t even realize that their mental health is declining until things become really bad and they are unable to function the way they normally would.
I’ve also come to notice that once our mental health starts suffering, our physical bodies usually pay the price.
You start seeing it in the way you sleep. The way you eat. The way you interact with people. Sometimes you stop doing the things you normally enjoy. Sometimes you’re constantly tired. Sometimes you’re stressed all the time and you don’t even know why.
The body tells the story of what the mind is going through, more often than not.
One way to tell if our mental health is struggling is by our functionality.
How are you functioning?
Are you able to recover from difficult situations?
Are you able to regulate your emotions without them completely taking over?
Are you constantly stressed?
Are you sleeping properly?
Are you feeling burned out all the time?
How are you handling conflict?
These are little questions we should ask ourselves from time to time because they can reveal a lot about our mental state.
I also believe that although outside support is important, we still have a personal responsibility to pay attention to our own mental wellbeing and seek help when we notice ourselves struggling.
Because the truth is, mental health challenges usually don’t just appear out of nowhere.
There is often something underneath.
Maybe it’s financial stress.
Maybe it’s a health condition.
Maybe it’s bullying.
Maybe it’s body shaming.
Maybe it’s grief.
Maybe it’s burnout from work.
Maybe it’s living in an environment where there is constant conflict and toxicity.
Maybe it’s a traumatic experience that a person never really had the opportunity to process.
All these things can build up over time and eventually begin affecting how a person thinks, feels, and functions.
Hence why prevention is very important.
We shouldn’t always wait until someone starts showing severe symptoms before we pay attention.
If someone has just lost a loved one, gone through a traumatic experience, experienced bullying, or is dealing with something that would naturally affect them emotionally, that’s usually when support matters the most.
Even, It doesn’t have to be something as intense as losing a loved one, even failing an exam, losing a job, moving locations due to one reason or the other.
Not because we have all the answers.
But because sometimes people just need to know that someone is there.
Sometimes people need someone who will listen.
Someone who will check in.
Someone who will remind them that what they are going through right now is not the end of their story.
The same thing applies to ourselves.
We should take time every now and then to reflect on how we are doing mentally.
To notice changes in our habits.
To notice changes in our emotions.
To notice when we’re no longer feeling like ourselves.
And when we notice those things, I we shouldn’t ignore them and hope they disappear on their own.
Talk to someone.
Reflect on it.
Address it.
Give it the attention it deserves.
Because one thing I’ve learned is that mental health problems don’t always announce themselves loudly.
Sometimes they show up quietly.
And because of that, It’s important for us to check on ourselves and also check on the people around us.
Not because they look like they’re struggling.
But because sometimes the people who look the strongest are carrying things we know absolutely nothing about.
One final thing I would like to say is that struggling with your mental health does not make you weak.
A lot of people still see mental health struggles as a sign of weakness, when in reality it is simply part of being human. Life happens to all of us. We all experience loss, disappointment, stress, grief, rejection, uncertainty, and difficult seasons. Sometimes we cope well, and sometimes we don’t.
I don’t think the goal is to never struggle. I think the goal is to be aware enough to recognize when we’re struggling, honest enough to admit it, and brave enough to seek support when we need it.
At the end of the day, mental health is not just about surviving. It’s about being able to live, connect with others, find joy in things, and continue moving forward even when life becomes difficult.
That’s why I believe mental health is something we should pay attention to long before things fall apart and even when things seem alright.
Not out of fear.
But because just like our physical health, our mental wellbeing deserves care, attention, and maintenance too.
ELLA SOFTLY 