Thinking Out Loud..

A friend randomly once asked;
“Could you ever tell someone, ‘Oh, this thing you keep working on—nothing ever comes of it,’ with that tone of ‘why not just give up?’”
Without hesitation, I replied, “I can’t say that to a friend. But I can say it to myself.“
Their response stayed with me: “Exactly. The love you show to your friend, show to yourself as well.“
It made me pause.

The question was asked in reference to the importance of persistence and maintaining consistency in working toward your goals.
While heading home, I thought more about it and it just made sense. We often hear, “You can’t love others properly if you don’t love yourself.” That suggests our cup must be full in order to pour into others.

But that statement flipped the perspective—what if we loved ourselves the way we love others?

This also ties into what the Bible teaches: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But what happens when someone constantly gives love yet neglects their own well-being? Does that mean their love is incomplete? Could love, when given without self-care, be tinged with quiet resentment, exhaustion or even envy? That isn’t love, is it? More like it’s the appearance of love.

Or maybe, I’m deepening it and this isn’t just about love—it’s about encouragement. Encouraging someone is an act of love though, whether through words of affirmation, support, or patience. But why do we often struggle to extend that same encouragement to ourselves?

Perhaps the key is balance. Love shouldn’t be self-sacrificial to the point of depletion, nor should it be self-centered to the point of isolation. Loving yourself doesn’t mean withholding love from others, just as loving others shouldn’t come at the cost of your own well-being.

So here’s something to consider: The next time you offer kindness, patience, or encouragement to a friend, ask yourself—are you giving that same grace to yourself?
Because love isn’t just about what we give away. It’s also about what we allow ourselves to receive.